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I was both flattered and excited to be interviewed on the T is for Training podcast.  I first met the host, Maurice, when he and I both attended a session at a conference and I cyberstalked him by sending him a Twitter message saying that I was sitting right behind him.

We looked back on 2009, looked forward to 2010, and looked *way* forward to the future of technology and how it’s going to impact libraries.  There was, of course, lots of talk about training, instruction, classes, and the perils of the audience’s eye-roll.

Having never listened to audio interviews of myself before, I discovered that I apparently really enjoy the word “really”.  I hope you enjoy the podcast.  Really.

I think a lot about what it means to be human. Not about what makes us different from other animals, necessarily, but about what characteristics can be found in all of us.  And I reflect on the language that we use to describe the “human condition.”   In fact, we say “human condition” almost as though we’re describing some sexually transmitted disease (which, in a way, we are!).

When we make mistakes, fail, or fall short of others’ expectations of us, we say that we’re “only human.”  The literal message of those two words is this:  “There are limits to what human beings can do, and and I have just reached that limit.”  In effect, what we’re saying is that what is being asked of us is impossible.

But that is rarely the case.

When do we really pull out that phrase?  Not when we’re face to face with the impossible, but when we’re face to face with the uncomfortable.

When arguing with a loved one.  When being asked to do more than we’ve done in the past.  When being asked to push harder, reach deeper, and sacrifice more than we have before.  When we are pushed to the limits of our comfort, not the limits of our ability.

And yet, only when we are pushed past comfort to the true limits of our ability, do we see what we’re capable of.

So, as I continue to share my experiences on this blog, I’m going to push past my comfort zones.  I’m going to share the hard-earned gems of wisdom that I’ve gained through years of struggle, staggering defeat, and occasional triumph.  You may laugh, cry, wince, or even judge me, and that is fine.  I won’t let fear stop me from allowing others to learn from my experiences.  I hope you read something here that will help you, as I endeavor to share everything that makes me gloriously human.

I’ve been playing around with drawing lately, trying to beef up my skills.  As a beginning artist starting later in life, I’m having to shut off that part of my brain that judges every last thing I do.  I’m trying instead to return to my childhood; as a child confronted with something new, I already knew that I didn’t know how to do it, but I didn’t let that stop me.  I played.  I experimented.  I tried it out.  I figured out what worked and what didn’t.

But what do I do now, as an adult?  I read books.  I subscribe to blogs.  I watch vidcasts.  I immerse myself in a world of information that’s waiting at my fingertips, all about drawing.  You know what I’m doing when I’m absorbing (or ignoring) all that information?  I’m not drawing.  Merlin Mann has had a few choice words about the perils of drowning yourself in information, and I’ve fallen prey to all of them.

The one that has plagued me the most of late is this fear that I’m just not an artist.  Period.  But I have to turn right around and tell that fear to shove it, because I am an artist…

You are an artist

I create.  You create.  We all do.  What makes us uniquely human is our ability to create.

But there are lots of people out there who are more than happy to tell me that I’m not an artist.  That what I do isn’t art; that what I produce isn’t good enough to be considered art; that even if it is art and is good, that it isn’t the kind of art that I should be doing.  And at the very top of that list of critics is me.

Every artist is plagued by “not”.  Not good enough, not the right kind, not enough of it.

But I know that I’m an organizer.  That’s one of my skills, and for me, it’s an art.  Granted, I can become a bit obsessive about it on occasion, but for the most part organizing things makes me feel relaxed and happy.  And at the end of an organizational project, I can look at all the neat lines, clearly labeled boxes, and wide empty space free of clutter and pat myself on the back at a job well done.  It makes me feel good.

Where’s my Olympic medal?  Where’s my gold star?  My Pulitzer?  My Nobel?

They’re not there, and that’s just fine.  I’m not doing it for awards, I’m doing it because I love my craft.  I can spend a few hours on Wikipedia tagging articles with the appropriate metadata, resting assured that in my tiny little way, I’ve helped increase the level of organization in the world.  I can also lend my skill to others, and watch as a folks adopt my organizational methods for themselves because they see how easy it can be.

Whatever it may be, your art is worth celebrating

So I’m an artist.  And so are you.  And together we can tell Fear exactly where he can shove it, because we rock at our art.  It may be research, or cataloging, or project management, or reshelving books, or being a mom, or listening, or telling jokes, or bookbinding, or laughing, or standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.  There are trillions of arts out there, and I want you to celebrate yours.  And keep on creating your art.

Just like plants, pets, cars, and your body, relationships need regular maintenance.  Inspired by a conversation with my friend Kryss, I started asking the folks close to me one question, every week:

Am I meeting your needs as a ___________ ?

Whether it be as a boyfriend, brother, son, friend, uncle or whatever, asking this simple question once a week has saved me a world of heartache in the long-term.  I’ve been doing it for months now, and it’s changed a lot of things.

A moment of reflection…

With everyone rushing around, filled with road rage, stress and angst (trying to get to tai chi or yoga class!), sometimes it can be difficult to pause and reflect on our relationships.

Asking if you’re meeting the other person’s needs will give them a chance to stop in their tracks, pause, and think about how their relationship with you is going.  Do they have any needs that aren’t being met?  Did you promise to take out the trash and forgot?  Did you say something in jest yesterday that actually hurt their feelings?  Now is their chance to let you know.

…can take a while

And they may not let you know right that minute.  So if that evening or the next day you get a call, don’t be surprised.  Some folks (like myself) take time to process conversations, arguments, and deep questions.  Asking a question once a week is a way to keep the conversation about the relationship going–not a way to “get it over with.”  Being honest and earnest about your desire to make sure that your loved ones’ needs are met will quickly unearth any deeper communication issues.

What it’s like

Every Wednesday at 12:30pm an alarm goes off on my phone: “Check in emotionally.”  I send a quick text to my loved ones, and usually within minutes I receive a text back lauding me with praise.  It’s a nice side-effect, but it’s not the purpose–a short “yes” is enough to ensure that they got the message and that there’s nothing pressing that needs to be discussed.

Occasionally I’ll get a phone call that starts out with “Well, since you asked…,” and the conversation starts up.  Sometimes Wednesday at 12:30pm will fall right in the middle of an ongoing fight or lingering hurt feelings, but I’ll ask without fail.  It’s more important to me that I know the truth and that they know I care, rather than to protect my own bruised feelings.

Awareness is catchy

Once your family and friends get used to the routine, they’ll look forward to it and miss it if you accidentally forget.  You might get a pouty voicemail asking why you didn’t do the weekly check-in!  And trust me, soon enough they’ll be responding in kind, asking if they are meeting your needs.

So go ahead and take a few seconds to check in witht he ones you love!  You’ll be delighted with the results.

The College Libraries Section of ACRL selected the Odum Library website as the CLS Website of the Month!

A lot of people worked very hard on the website usability studies and redesign, as well as its constant maintenance.  These folks include Sherrida Crawford, John Taylor, Becky Murphy, Vince Spezzo, and all the folks who write content for the website (especially our steady bloggers Laura Wright and Maureen Puffer-Rothenberg)!

Congrats folks on all the hard work!!!